Always new

SO will I always feel like I'm in uncharted territory, feeling like I don't have a clue what I'm doing? Somehow, though, I have an underlying feeling somewhere up around my heart, that I know what to do. It is hard- learning to trust yourself with someone elses needs.
Payton will be 7 months old soon. Hard for mommy to believe. I am still reveling in those first MINUTES he was in my arms- meeting him for the very first time. He is so different now. To think 10 years from now, I could be sending him of to face the perilous of JUNIOR HIGH?!?!?! uhg. Lord help me!

A five minute glimpse of PAYTON ALLEN ALF
Mommy puts me down on the floor because my back bend off of her lap is about to land me there anyway. I spend a good 30 seconds arching my back, pushing myself off the floor with my hands and giving mom that "O" look...."O, This is fun, mom. I'm thinking about going somewhere, but I just can't decide." After I have think for a bit I decide to go after Wrigley- always my first choice. Man if she would just let me get a hold of her tail. I follow her around the room and inch from side to side on my hands and belly trying to catch her in my "pinch-grip." She moves to fast, so I decide to get into something else....oh! I can roll...I think this gets me somewhere....maybe not. I'm frustrated. Mommy helps me roll back to my tummy and makes funny noises and faces (in extremely close proximity to my FACE!) She doesn't know I could have done that on my own, but she's funny so I humor her. I've been on the floor for about three minutes and I think I have discovered a new move. If i stick my leg out like this (laying face on floor, pushing one leg as far our to the side as possible) I can move quicker....uhg. Too hard. I'll try another way. Time for some push ups. I like to push up using only my toes- but I haven't found too much luck with traveling this way, so I will try again. I have bendable parts in my legs, but they don't hold me up very well. I think this may be something to work on later, but right now I am irritated. I think my best option is to bury my nose in the carpet and grunt. If I sound like I am pooping, mommy might think I am making a poo, and come get me out of this pickle. I'll try this again later...oh wait, I see a shinny thingy over there. Ok, just one more try.