Always new

SO will I always feel like I'm in uncharted territory, feeling like I don't have a clue what I'm doing? Somehow, though, I have an underlying feeling somewhere up around my heart, that I know what to do. It is hard- learning to trust yourself with someone elses needs.
Payton will be 7 months old soon. Hard for mommy to believe. I am still reveling in those first MINUTES he was in my arms- meeting him for the very first time. He is so different now. To think 10 years from now, I could be sending him of to face the perilous of JUNIOR HIGH?!?!?! uhg. Lord help me!

A five minute glimpse of PAYTON ALLEN ALF
Mommy puts me down on the floor because my back bend off of her lap is about to land me there anyway. I spend a good 30 seconds arching my back, pushing myself off the floor with my hands and giving mom that "O" look...."O, This is fun, mom. I'm thinking about going somewhere, but I just can't decide." After I have think for a bit I decide to go after Wrigley- always my first choice. Man if she would just let me get a hold of her tail. I follow her around the room and inch from side to side on my hands and belly trying to catch her in my "pinch-grip." She moves to fast, so I decide to get into something else....oh! I can roll...I think this gets me somewhere....maybe not. I'm frustrated. Mommy helps me roll back to my tummy and makes funny noises and faces (in extremely close proximity to my FACE!) She doesn't know I could have done that on my own, but she's funny so I humor her. I've been on the floor for about three minutes and I think I have discovered a new move. If i stick my leg out like this (laying face on floor, pushing one leg as far our to the side as possible) I can move quicker....uhg. Too hard. I'll try another way. Time for some push ups. I like to push up using only my toes- but I haven't found too much luck with traveling this way, so I will try again. I have bendable parts in my legs, but they don't hold me up very well. I think this may be something to work on later, but right now I am irritated. I think my best option is to bury my nose in the carpet and grunt. If I sound like I am pooping, mommy might think I am making a poo, and come get me out of this pickle. I'll try this again later...oh wait, I see a shinny thingy over there. Ok, just one more try.

New Territory

Payton is doing so much new these days. He squeals, giggles, writhes, holds his breath, thhhhpppppppphhhhhhhs, and grunts (mostly when he's trying to poop). He is more JOY everyday and Paul and I are amazed at how much more we love him every minute. We watch him sleep sometimes. Probably a funny sight to see two parents, huddled over their child's crib, just smiling...at him...at each other....at him. He sleeps just like me(pre-Payton, that is), hard as a ROCK. He purses his little lips together so sweetly and I wonder if he dreams.

We pray over him as he sleeps. How can we ever remember to pray it all? We won't. So we pray that God will take care of anything we forget in our millions of prayers for him.

He is "scootching" a little too. When we lay him on a blanket he will turn himself to get to a toy and try really hard for about 10 minutes. Then he gets really mad and grunts a lot, until someone comes to rescue him. He LOVES his doggie, Wrigley. It's easy to see, already, that they are going to be best buds! She loves him too. He likes to just watch her play on the floor, even when she is oblivious to him. She loves to like his face (yuck) and clean up his spit-up off of the floor (more yuck). Hey, we have a lot to do, so we don't mind. :) She takes good care of him.

He will be 6 months old soon. Where did that half of a year go? I am amazed. It seems like yesterday, I was packing my bags and worrying how my life was never going to be the same again. That's right, stupid girl...it won't. And, PRAISE THE LORD for THAT!

"Sons are a heritage from the Lord, children a reward from Him." Psalm127:3

There is spit-up on my Bible...."Wrigley...."

These people are always smoochin' on me. They can't get enough of my sweet little cheekers! Daddy's wiskers tickle!
Am I a doll? Really? I know that winter-wear is necessary, but really, do you realize these mittens have no thumbs?

Payton- 4 Months

My Favorite time of the day is right before bedtime. Mommy thinks it's really funny to tickle me while she puts lotion in every little creavis. I am pretty much ticklish anywhere and everywhere. Now I squeal when I giggle and sometimes get so worked up that I pee a little. :) Look out mommy!

Spitting up...my favorite game. :) My mommy smells so GOOD!

Hello?

Payton loves his blocks...as you can see. He often falls asleep with them in his arms.

My First SOLID food!

I don't have to brown-nose...I have mommy and daddy wrapped around my sweet little finger.

Tasty Prunes! Hey- they do the trick!

Payton loved his first experience with solid food. He ate, and ate, and ate. I guess it's not hard to believe that our little porker likes to eat. He is such a big boy. It's a little hard for mommy to let him grow up so fast. I know God is working on teaching me to let HIM take control of my baby's life. Small steps.

Let it Snow! Fun at Christmas Time

Ready to go!

Payton's first adventure out into the blustery, cold, snowy day!

The Littlest Angel

Seriously mom...are you kidding me?

BRRRRRRRR!

Our first Christmas Morning Together

Forget the stocking....check out my cool jammies!

Sportin' my new cowboy boots from Grandpa and Grandma Rowe!

Yeehaw!

Whoa.....my doggie doesn't make cool noises like that!

Cantemos!

Mom and Dad don't realize that they could have given me a shinny, empty box and I would have been exstatic! Oh well...these may come in handy later anyway.

I wear my sunglasses at night....not really- I just poke myself in the eye with them, but I do look stylin' don't I?

Mommy made me a cool stocking. She sewed a special baby boy bear on it for my first year in the family. I think I want to suck on it. :)

Mommy and Me (2 months)

We had so much fun taking these pictures. We are making so many memories! I won't be long before I'm throwing this ball across the room, to Daddy in the yard, to home plate for the last out of the game. So many more memories to make! I can't wait!

Christmas

Cousin Ema and Payton
Three pretty ladies...Mommy and her sisters (minus one)

WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! My fist time on the slipper slide

I loved playing in the park with all my cousins!

This is my friend Will- he's our neighbor too. He can crawl...someday.

My first role: baby Jesus at our Church Christmas program. I was great!I am pretty sure Jesus was more precious, but mommy says I'm probably a close second.

Giving up

Today was Payton's dedication at church. It was a memorable day, though the ceremony was memorable, meaningful and brought me a great deal of joy, I somehow felt that this process was already completed long before today. I remember clearly my feelings about this time last year, when Payton was a tiny glimmer in my womb. I remember my prayers for him the instant I knew I was pregnant and the overwhelming responsibiity I felt to cover his life in prayer. I spent countless nights lying awake and day-dreams in the day, just praying through every area of his life. Prayers for protection from all kinds of evils, people, hurts, wrongs, flaws, danger, and the list goes on and on. I realized pretty quickly that I just couldn't think of it all. I cannot possible think of all the things that I need to pray for him. I was really overwhelmed by the responsibility of it all. As a result, I worried that I would miss something, that I would not pray something and my baby (later to be named Payton) would suffer in some way, or get hurt. I finally came to the realization that I can't. I am not capable of thinking of it all, remembering it all, or even using the right words when I do. So I decided to just give up. Give it UP...and stop worrying. I won't ever have the right words. I am not made to remember it all. I never will think of all the right things to say. However, since my sweet boy has come into the world, I have realized something. That since I gave UP, I don't NEED to worry. God has given me the ability to trust Him with Payton's life. It is hard to think about anything bad happening to my son, but I feel God's presence in every aspect of his life. I feel His Holy Spirit leading me in even my prayers for areas of Payton's life. Really...I believe right now that Payton's life could not be in better hands, because mine are imperfect. I DON'T know what to do in many circumstances, but I love the feeling of surrender. I love giving Paton UP to God and knowing that my best interest is at heart too. That's just a bonus.